It was either a very slow day at the makeup counter or I looked really, really bad.

I got accosted at the mall Saturday. The woman was very quick. Since the girls wanted to browse, I decided to stop in one of the large department stores and see if I could snag a sample of Dermablend. Apparently there's not a cosmetics lady for that little counter. The Lancome ladies, though, quickly assured me that wasn't what I wanted or needed, and before I could turn around the leader of the 2 had wiped half of my makeup off my face! I couldn't very well go running around the mall with half my makeup off, so I had to sit in the chair and get the rest of my face wiped clean and start from scratch. Thankfully we had plenty of time to kill. They had apparently gotten in some new type of makeup, but after she slathered 5 different shades on my face to no avail, she decided to go with what she always used for most people. "It's our best seller," she claimed. Well, I imagine it would be since it's the one you're always using on people when you throw them in your chair. She did have a good personality, though. She was pretty funny, talking to me about the wig she was wearing. "It's lace front, like Beyonce wears." I knew exactly what she was talking about, having had to wear a wig when I lost my hair. "Oh, those are high quality. Tyra wears them, too," I say. "Mmm, hmm! She's been wearing them for years and she wasn't gonna tell us that she wore them, either. Finally found out, though!" She got my foundation color on and decided she needed to finish my face. "Can't let you go out there looking like you ain't finished!" I'll say, that's why I sat down in the first place. Got powdered, blushed, then slightly freaked out when she started applying mascara. It wasn't just the "here comes something sharp directly aimed at your eyeballs" that usually freaks me out. The brush also vibrated! What the heck was that all about? Then she looked at my mouth. "You don't have much of a mouth, do you?" What? Where'd it go?! I told her I was a lipless wonder. She then decided I needed fuller lips and over-lined my mouth with a dark brownish pencil, then filled it in with something she called pomegranate gloss. Oh, it was scary looking! The girls were trying not to laugh, and I discretely wiped most of it away while she was busy writing out the list of products she had applied on me. When she looked back at me she said, "Now, that looks pretty." My reward for sitting there, though, were not 1 but 2 sample bottles of makeup. Afterwards we headed to the food court to grab a quick bite. As I was called next in line by the cheerful cashier at Chic-Fil-A, a little girl of about 3 stepped in front of me and put her arms up on the counter. I looked down at her and said, "Oh, are you going to order?" She smiled up at me and stepped to the side (she was waiting on her order with her mommy). I got my snack and met back up with the girls who, of course, had to have a snack from the other side of the court. As I sat down I realized that I was wearing quite a bit of makeup, and the girls concurred. Maybe that little girl smiled at me because she thought I was a clown. I took out my little mirror and realized it wasn't too bad in this lighting. Besides, Erin informed me, if the little girl thought I was a clown she would have screamed because kids hate clowns.

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