Wednesday

It's a Date!


If we can pin one down, that is. Originally we had thought 09/10/11 would be the perfect date - easy to remember (for the one of us who shall remain nameless, but always confused the other's birthday with their brother's as they are in the same month. "Are you sure your birthday isn't on the 8th?"). That sure seems like a loooong way away, though. Why wait? Someone asked Jerry, "Why are you waiting so long? Are you marrying the girl or the date?" Good point - we have waited all these years already. Now we're seriously considering May. Do we want to wait until school's out so those invited guests with children won't use school as an excuse not to come? Marilyn graduates high school on the 19th of that month, and that's a Thursday. If we get married the week before, we'd miss school functions while off on our honeymoon. Could a kid forgive you for that? Should they? I'm pondering a Friday evening wedding now, or an early Saturday afternoon one. We need to sit down and figure this out. Read some advice about picking a date on theknot.com. I guess they know what they're talking about. They say don't choose a holiday weekend - hotels are more expensive and some guests may have standing family plans they can't change and won't make your event. But dang, I thought it would give people extra time off from work without taking up too many vacation days. And the 29th is a Saturday, and Jerry's birthday, and we'd remember our anniversary. Would he want to celebrate his 29th birthday that way? Guess I'll ask! That's something I've started doing lately, asking. I read an interesting article online (just Google "askers and guessers") about there being 2 sorts of people in the world - askers and guessers. Well, I come from a very extended family of guessers. We hardly ever ask anyone for anything, and just guess what the other person would say or do. For example, say I loved the new blouse my sister got. Instead of asking if I could borrow it, I'd just guess I couldn't. I even did that in the past with Jerry. I just guessed he didn't love me as much as I loved him. He guessed the same thing about me. We should have asked, and now that I have that nugget of knowledge, I try to be much more of an asker, even though it goes against my upbringing. I do find that it sure does clear up a lot of misunderstanding. I've told my family about the askers and guessers, and so now when I hear someone complaining about what someone else is or isn't doing, I'll say, "Well, did you ask them or are you just guessing?" I know the answer is guessing, I just like to make them realize they should be asking so they'll know for sure. Askers know that the answer to their question could be no, and they're willing to accept that as part of the asking process. My ex-sister-in-law was the exception to the guessers in our family. She was a hard core asker. She often came across as rude, though, and rightly so. You just don't ask my Mamaw if you can have her dining room furniture after she dies. Sheesh! I think the next step should be to sit down with Jerry and a calendar and ask what dates look good and go from there.

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