Thursday

I Hear It Can Remove Warts As Well


I tried on my dress again. The informal survey I took gets the dress voted to stay long instead of being shortened, which is fine with me - no sewing! As for the remnants of the dress I was going to use with my flowers, it'll be fine without it. I purchased the last 1-7/8 yards of pink tulle my local Wal-Mart will ever carry (a grand total of $1.88). My dress is just slightly too big up top, which is really no surprise to me. Story of my life. What's a girl to do? I certainly don't want anything permanent done just to fill out a dress. For a moment I considered something I'd done for Erin one Halloween when she was the Corpse Bride. I took several of the socks who had lost their mates in a laundry disaster, rolled them up and sewed them inside the dress. It would certainly work, but I don't know how great it would look, or what kind of faces people would make when they hugged me and felt those 2 hard lumps in my dress. Recently I've been seeing pictures online of those crazy prom outfits that are being made completely of duct tape. There are really some talented designers out there. Seems like their final product probably cost more than a "real" formal outfit, though. In any case, it got me thinking about all those classy t-shirts that say "Duct Tape Fixes Everything". Really? One of the big celebrity secrets is supposed to be duct tape for an instant cleavage creator. You just put it over on one side of your chest, mash your poor breast up and over to the center as far as possible, then hold it there with the tape. Repeat for the other side. Just surf around youtube - there are some drag queens who have tutorials. I think that's great for the stage, but I'm going to be up close and personal with people and I can just imagine all of my wedding pictures needing to photoshop out that shiny silver tape so I don't look crazy. You know, like that poor girl having the best time at some formal event but her dress has slipped and you see her secret; she's pictured all over the web when you search "duct tape cleavage" or "duct tape fail". I'm going to opt for taking the dress in a bit at the sides instead. Dang, I guess I'll be sewing after all!

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